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The Top Six Gummies of All Time

So far, I’ve been taking this whole blogging thing too lightly. I’ve talked about music, movies, and video games. Now, things are about to get real. I absolutely love my gummies. I’ve been a huge fan of them throughout the years, and while my tastes are a bit more refined these days, I still find myself seeking those brutally sweet nuggets of sugar. In almost every case, I will choose the gummy worm over the gummy bear. There’s just something more satisfying about the amount of savory flavor one can pull from a worm. Without further ado, here are my rankings of the top six gummies of all time.

 

#6 – Whatever Brand Winco carries

Oh yes. Good ole Winco. This place is king for bulk buying. The gummies offered in these glorious drums of decadence are pretty great. Their flavor might not be quite up to the same level as the rest of the gummies on this list, but their pricepoint makes them a definite contender. The one downside to these things comes in the form of the weird white film on the outside. I’m not sure what it is, but it doesn’t do the flavor any favors. The consistency is otherwise spot on, and the variety of flavors is decent enough. They might be at the bottom of this list, but they’re worlds ahead of some…. I’m looking at you, Haribo!

#5 – Trolli’s Cherry Bombers

 

These things were rockin when I was in middle school. I used to snag a couple bags every weekend for my mom and I. There’s something special about that cough syrup taste that the Cherry Bombers produce; and who wouldn’t love the explosion of flavor? These bad boys are always a solid investment if you’re into the whole “Cherry flavor” thing. Their consistency isn’t quite as appealing as the Winco brand, but the tangy flavor edges out the semi-bland taste of the Winco bears. You won’t go wrong grabbing a bag or two of these on your way out of the local convenience store.

#4 – Black Forest’s Gummy Worms

This marks the end of the classless, mass produced gummy. Not to say that the next two aren’t mass produced, but there is a bit of a quality gap. Black Forest is the king of the cheap gummies. Much like Budweiser, they are king of their genre. The one you look to on a poor, gummy-less night. These things have it all. Their flavors are quite rich, the consistency is soft and malleable, and they know what they’re doing. Less is more, especially considering there are only three flavors in this bag. Now, I’m a fan of variety, but when you do something right, you might as well stick to it. All in all, these are the best to snag when you’re a little short on change, but also care about your taste buds.

 

#3 – Lifesavers Gummies

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These things are my usual go-to. Lifesavers Gummies are a classic. From the delicious green apple, to the cough medicine reminiscent cherry, this bag has it all. These bad boys will run you a little pricier than others, but they’re definitely worth it. I even enjoy their Wild Berries bag, and also the Collisions variety. One of the great things about snapping into a bag of these is the sweetly aroma that tantalizes the entire room. Indeed, everyone within a thirty foot radius will instantly obtain Type-2 Diabeetus, and the purveyor of the bag will inevitably enter into a dangerously delicious sugar coma. If you’re unable to obtain either of the top two, or you’re looking to spend the extra buck, Lifesavers is the way to go.

 

#2 – Albanese: World’s Best 12 Flavor Gummi Bears

Oh man. The Albanese. These little bundles of joy will certainly cost you, but I can assure you that they’re worth every cent. Albanese was onto something when they entered the market with the “World’s Best” tagline attached to their phalanx-esque squadron of gummy bear bag. I wanted to try these things for years. I always wondered what twelve flavors of gummy would taste like? Would my taste buds be at odds with each other? Would my senses simply overload and shut down due to the immense variety over what I was used to? Would my wallet ever recover? The answer is no, then yes. I finally took the plunge, and was certain that I had found the gummy for me. What could surpass the twelve, count them, TWELVE flavors assaulting my innocent taste buds at once? The answer?……..

 

#1 – Meiers Meats & Fine Foods – 12 Flavor Gummie Bears

Oh yes. Meiers. These little guys are a gift from the great Gummy Serpent himself. Meiers is a local Meat and Fine Foods joint based out of Highland Utah. I first encountered them due to my brief stint as a bread salesman for Franz. Since I had an unhealthy obsession for gummies, and my tastebuds were becoming more refined, I decided to give their in-house gummies a go; That was the beginning of the rest of my life. I bought a bag of these bears, and had half of the one pound pouch consumed by the time I brought my truck back to the depot, and the husk-like carcass never left the building. These things are perfection in a bag. Each of the twelve flavors has its own distinct taste, and they are always scrumptiously soft. If you’re ever in the neighborhood, you owe it to yourself to buy these $5 a pound gummies. They’re the local micro-brewery of gummy. The true quality that the big name brands simply can’t dream of coming close to. Well, Meieirs dreamed. And their sugar-induced hallucination dreams are what brought me to write this great article.

 

There you have it. Whether you spell it “Gummies” or “Gummy’s”, I’m sure you can appreciate this list. Remember that it’s alright to occasionally grab a mass produced sack o joy; just remember that not all gummies are created equal, and your taste buds were in fact endowed by their Creator with certain, unalienable rights, that among these are sugar, flavors, and the consistency of Happiness.

 

One thought on “The Top Six Gummies of All Time

  1. Cory Bonsack says:

    I just had the Black Forest Gummy worms for the first time last week. I agree with you and can see why they made the list.

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